This is for bluewolf and bunny "I'm Confused"
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First point- I can deal with him not being romantic, I'm use to it
Second but how can i approach him to tell him how i feel, when i try to do so it leads to arguments, he states that im too jealous. I can agree with him because to be honest I am. But the only reason I'M like this is because of his ways. I try to talk to him conversation starts out alright then arguments come along.Sometimes he has gotten to a point where he tells me this is the way I am and you can accept me or leave me. I stated then why would i change my jealousy if your not willing to change your ways. Why would i want to make this work if you are not even going to try yourself? I told him if he wasn't ready for a relationship for him to let me go,rather than hurt me in the long run. It's confusing because even he realizes that he doesn't deserve me.But after me telling him all kinds of stuff he apologizes tells me he wants to change for me he loves me and wants to be with me and i give in ... how can i approach him?

asked by Anonymous on Tuesday, March 9, 2010 - 12:01 | PROVIDE UPDATE

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Answers

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bluewolf and bunny:

Dear Confused:
It sounds like you are looking for a way to fix this problem with him. Our point was that we don't believe you can. Our expectation is that if you talk to this guy he will have one of two responses. First he might argue and blame you and make it all your fault or second he might apologize and say he is going to change and then doesn't. This prize winner did both! You can't reason with the unreasonable and how can you trust him? You asked him to let you go but as it stands now he has a good thing going. He gets to sleep in your bed and flirt with everyone else.
bunny was in a long term relationship similar to what you are experiencing: Whenever things got to be to much for me and I would finally explode and tell him all the things that were bothering me, his response was always "Your right, I need to fix that and I will, just give me a chance." but then with in hours it would be back to how it always was. That's how I got bound into a farce of a marriage until I got smart enough to leave him.
There are only two proper responses when the person you love tells you that you are doing something they don't like. You either apologize and stop doing what they don't like or you calmly explain why it needs to be done and work out a compromise like an adult. The guy you are with will never do either one so you are going to have to find it with in yourself to either leave him or kick him out.
Do not fear being single because you sound like a sensitive intelligent woman who will have no trouble attracting a decent man.

2010-03-09 12:53
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marinemj:

you are basically being bullied into ignoring his problematic behavior by his threat to break up with you if you pursue your issues. the texting wile he is supposed to be talking to you is rude. the evasiveness is unacceptable. it sounds like your instincts are correct and he is distancing himself from you. if i were you, i would quit trying to work it out and let him know that his behavior is unacceptable and get out.

2010-03-09 17:09