Should I address this before getting married and how. |
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I recently have moved in with a guy and we are engaged to be married. He is a high school teacher in a small town. Recently when I cleaned out one of the closets for my clothes I found a briefcase with some various items. I found some porn and a letter he wrote to a student. The letter states how he is sad that they are no longer talking. He clearly states his feelings for the student in an unprofessional manner. He describes how he is disappointed that the administration has prevented her from coming to his classroom due to some inappropriate complaints from students. He states how he misses her and if he was younger would consider dating her. And how he wants to find a women with her personality. To top it off I find a CD with porn of girls who are barely 18. I know I violated his privacy, but feel compelled that he may have some serious issues with inappropriate behavior. I don't want to deal with these issues later down the road when we are married and the CD sickens me since he works directly with barely 18 students. What should I do? |
Answers
marinemj:you should break up with him right this very second. then you should take that letter to the administration of his school and let them decide how to handle it. then you should thank your lucky stars that you found all these things before you got married and were able to dodge the bullet of tying yourself to a perverted pig.
2009-11-04 18:06
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harleygirl:On top of doing everything mj said, I would take it to the police. I think this man is dangerous.
2009-11-04 20:49
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sweetone:This man has no common sense. Some male high school teachers like the high school environment because they are stuck at age 18. When they are in the high school environment, they feel like they are still 18. Or when they see younger people all day, they think they are the same age as them. I do not know how old you are, but he may feel like he relates better to teenagers than you. It was a blessing you found this warning before you married him. He should be glad he did not give this letter to the student- it would ruin him. Since you are going to end it (I assume you will end it?), I would tell him you found the porn and letter. You should explain to him that it is abnormal. Someone needs to show him that it is abnormal since he can't see it himself. Girls probably looked down on him when he went to high school. Now they look up to him as a teacher so he wants to go back in time to get what he didn't get back then. He has major issues. Please provide an update after your talk with him.
2009-11-04 21:20
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sweetone:
Also, does he like to go to a lot of after school events? If so, it might feel like a date to him being around these young girls. Yuck!
It could be that the student was the one who wanted to change classes. Maybe administration told him that other students were complaining to protect the student from the teacher having grudge against her. If she doesn't talk to him, she might have been offended by his behavior. That would creep me out if a teacher wrote a letter like that to me.