Dear John, I have been "friends" with a man for 18 years. We have a had a physical relationship. I care about him very much, but I know his feelings for me are not as strong.
I am getting ready to retire after 32 years from public education. It was very important to me that he accompany me to the retirement dinner. He also worked for this same school system several years ago. That was how we met. His contract was not renewed after 2 years because they were not pleased with his performance. He moved on and got another teaching job in a neighboring state. Therefore he tells me he does not want to go to the dinner with me because he is embarrassed that he was "fired" from his job in my district.
I told him that it has been 16 years since that incident. None of the administration is still there. Hardly any of the same teachers are still there. Furthermore, I was one of the few people who knew the circumstances of his leaving. Most thought it was just a reduction in force as his position was not filled the following year.
I told him I am deeply disappointed and hurt by his telling me he doesn't want to go with me. This dinner is a big deal. He has offered to take me out to a fancy dinner to celebrate my retirement. I told him the retirement dinner can't be replicated and that there are no do-overs. It is a once in a lifetime event, and I want to share it with him in person-not share it as an afterthought.
I also told him if the circumstances were reversed I would put my personal feelings of discomfort aside and go for his sake because I would understand the importance of him wanting me to be present for and with him. Am I wrong to expect him to put aside his embarrassment and hurt at being let go; in order to make this one time event special. Connie
harleygirl:
I think it's ridiculous of him to think that anyone would remember something from 16 years ago, when many people are no longer even there. For him to be still be stuck on that is childish. He's holding it against you that the district "fired" him, and if I were you, I'd ditch him in favor of someone with more maturity.