Parents left out of son's Wedding

Some women want to get married a particular month, and they will take which weekend is available that month. I think the bride has more say about the date or cares more about the date than the groom. I would not take this personally- it really might just be a coincidence. Babies are not always born on the due date. Who knows maybe the baby will be born early so you might be able to still attend the wedding. Just be happy for them.

By the way, a 5 year age difference nothing. So many people get married with that same age difference. I am in my thirties, and I would date a guy 5 years younger than me.

Gabby, They are getting married at their home and the reception is also at their home. If she wanted to get married a certain month, they could have picked any weekend that month. Our daughter is having a C section because of a accident which left her wired together and cannot have a natural birth. She cannot change her date, but the kids could have changed the date by one weekend and we could have been there, that is my problem with all of this.

Oh, I see. That is a different story if she is getting married at her home. I know a lot of times, you can't always pick the weekend you want to get married at a church because it might already be taken. I know that happened to my sister.

Is it a sentimental date, near a holiday, or any old date? That makes a difference.

Gabby, They told us that that is the closest weekend to when they had their first date. We asked them if they could have it the weekend before or after the date they chose, so we could be there and they said no. I guess being a mother and seeing your children grow up is the senemential part of why we want to be at their wedding. They are both special to us and we feel they are leaving us out. Do you think the date they chose will mean as much to them 10 years from now when they look at their wedding pictures and we are not in them? When their children ask, where is grandma and grandpa? I really am taking this personal and it hurts.

You probably would be upset with me if you were my mother. If I ever get married, I plan to elope or not have a wedding. I saw how stressful planning the wedding was for my sister. She kept saying she could not wait to just go on her honeymoon. So, I plan to just go on my honeymoon! I am not thinking about what is best for my parents. I am thinking about what is best for me. The bride could just be a very sentimental person. I could see how someone would want to get married on their anniversary date.

your daughter in law and son are being ridiculous selfish assholes. maybe they are trying to slight you, maybe they have some sort of beef with your daughter. more likely is that your future dil got in her head that she wanted to get married on this date and she is being a total bridezilla and getting all wrapped up in having everything her way on her day, and screw what anyone else wants. you said she is 22- that's awfully young. young enough that she probably really doesn't get that a wedding, while important, is NOT the most important day of her life. it would not suprise me at all if she is actually thinking "hey, she'll have more kids, but i'll only have one wedding!"

so here is what i would do if i were you: be with your daughter for the birth. help her out and bond with your grandchild. send your son your best wishes and love, and ask for a copy of the video. then, and this is going to be the hard part, LET IT GO. try not to let this affect your relationship with your son and d-i-l, try not to feel slighted (because i doubt that is what they are tryin to do), and just get on with your life and trying to have a pleasant relationship with them. with any luck, in 10 years, your dil will grow up and feel bad about all this. probably not, but it never hurts to hope.

Marinemj,

I have to let it go, which is hard. We are going to be with our daughter, son in law and new baby. They have been married for 7 years and were not sure they could have children because of her auto accident. It is a most beautiful occasion to have our first grandchild and we will be there. I am still sad about not being at our son's wedding, but I MUST let it go. Thanks for your comments. Mom's are sentimental and want to be part of all of their children's lives. I thought our future daughter in law was being very selfish. I will get over it in time, but for now it is sad.

I agree with mj. As much as it hurts, you have to let it go. Your dil is young and selfish, and she may have issues, one of which may be control. Enjoy your new grandbaby, which is more important than any wedding. (This one may not even last!) Shame on your son for not being more sympathetic to his sister's situation, but he may be under his fiancee's thumb already. You may not have to worry about what the future grandkids say about your absense at the wedding; the marriage may not last long enough to produce offspring!

I am thinking of one of my sister-in-laws. She always includes her family in everything, but excludes our family. She is a very unfriendly person who comes from an unfriendly family. I am not close with this brother so it does not bother me, but it bothers my mother. I hope your future daughter-in-law won't be that way. You wrote that you love her so maybe she isn't as nasty as my sister-in-law. I still think a wedding is the bride's day or dream, but let's hope this won't be a pattern with ongoing family functions after the wedding.

im sorry but ur son and daughter in law are bein extremly selfish they cus always renew theyre vows wereas u would never get back the chance to see ur grandchild enter the world am sorry but just tell them they are bein exremly selfish and disrepectfull to yourselfs by tryin to make u choose

This is not the best way for her to welcome you to the family, but she might not see it that way. When a bride has a date set in mind, it is really hard to get her to change her mind. To start off the relationship with her, I think you should be as positive as you can be even if you have to put on a fake smile. I want to bake her wedding cake for you. Eat some cake with your daughter on that day to celebrate the new baby:)

Thank You all for your responses. I am glad to know I am not being unreasonable or too sentimental wanting to be at the wedding. We will be with our daughter and new first grandchild. I will be as nice as I can to our new DIL, but with some reservation. I will be civilized at least.

my brothers wedding ripped my family apart and in our case it was my parents who were to blame. your story sounds much different and i would feel slighted if iw as you. YOU BOUGHT THEM THE HOUSE THEY ARE GETTING MARRIED IN!! they shhould be grateful and change the date. if i were you i would stiop giving them anything and concentrate on you new grandchild!