I want a child.
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I am a 21-year-old woman who has been with "Jacob" for four years. I know this may sound "corny," but both Jacob and I feel as if we have found our soul mates. We want to be together for the rest of our lives.
In the past, Jacob and I have both agreed that we don't want children.
I am beginning to reconsider that "decision."
After I graduate from College and am working steadily for several years, I think I want to have a child.
Ideally, I would be like to be pregnant in my late twenties or early thirties.
I know that that is a long time away, and I can reconsider having a child by then, but I really want to discuss my feelings with Jacob.
Jacob is also 21, and I don't think he has thought about procreating AT ALL. I know that at this time, Jacob feels that we are never going to have children.
Should I tell Jacob how I am feeling or bring the topic up in later years?

asked by Anonymous on Saturday, August 28, 2010 - 18:55 | PROVIDE UPDATE

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Answers

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whatdoyoumeancookie:

hmmmm this is a tricky one i think. most 21-year-olds (guys especially probably) don't think they want to have children. i'm almost 30 now and i still never want to have children. if my boyfriend wanted to, i think that would probably be what they call a deal-breaker. I feel like this is a really important area to agree on in a relationship.

on the other hand, a lot of people change their minds about kids as they get older. so how he feels about it now might change later.

i think you should just say this to him--be like "i've been thinking and i think in my late 20s/early 30s i might want to have kids". then oyu guys can talk about it from there, when it becomes more and more relevant. a LOT happens in your 20s so i wouldn't stress about it. you should be honest to yourself and to him though....

2010-08-28 19:35
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marinemj:

i do think you should talk to him about it. stress that your not talking about doing this any time soon, but it's something you think you want in the future. it's tough because he is so young. 21 is WAY too young to be deciding that you don't want kids. but you definitely need to be honest about your feelings. and if he's insistent that he doesn't want kids, you need to decide what to do in that situation. if you guys are not in agreement on such a fundamental issue, then your relationship isn't meant to be.

2010-08-29 00:40