desperate
2

my husband and i have been married for four years, now wants to spruce it
up and have a threesome,sex has stopped between us and he always on the internet searching other woman and porn sites (which the porn sites are nothing new)hes always been into porn. he was married once before about 25 years ago and i don't believe this was a topic of there marriage. He also said if i'm not for a threesome he'll stick screw someone else anyway. and that hes not being a jerk just stating the facts he also now
has a private email address (we use to use the same on)

i asked if he was going to give me divorce papers and he said no i'm not
going no where what does that mean. i sit here waiting (or watching)

asked by Anonymous on Sunday, January 6, 2008 - 09:50 | PROVIDE UPDATE

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Answers

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marinemj:

i think it's time for YOU to serve HIM with divorce papers. "not being a jerk, just stating facts..." umm, no, that's being a huge jerk. he says he's not going anywhere because at this point, why would he. he can have his cake and eat it too.

you have the right to expect fidelity from your husband. certainly, you should try to spice things up with him. but if he insists on a threesome or cheating, you need t ask yourself if you can deal with an unfaithful marriage. if you can't (and most couldn't), get rid of him.

2008-01-06 12:45
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Inah:

First off, it's fine for your husband to have his own email (I think partners should). It's fine for him to enjoy porn and it's okay that he's interested in sex that didn't appeal to him 25 years ago in a previous relationship.

However, there are some big proglems. What's next? "If you don't have anal sex, I'll find someone else to do it with." I'm all for partners asking each other to try out a fetish. It's great that he asked you if you'd be interested in a threesome. But when you expressed your disinterest things should have stopped there. He shouldn't be pressuring you into a kink that you don't feel good about. If you don't feel good about sex with another person involved don't do it. Don't let him force you into something you don't want to do. I think divorce may be a solution. I don't know the particulars of your situation but there may be other options as well.

2008-01-07 23:48
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juscarrie:

my husband (I am a widow now) did the same thing pretty much to me. He became obsessed with porn and bringing people into our sex life. It ruined our marriage. Left me feeling inadequate, unloved and used. I did alot of things I didn't want to just to please him. I ended up resenting him and I turned to another man and left him. He died before our divorce was final. Looking back on it I wonder if I would of communicated my discomfort with everything if it would of played out differently. I know every situation is different. If your husband has made up his mind there may not be much you can do. Definately let him know how you feel- don't hold it back so if it does all fall apart you know you did all could. Don't do anything sexually for him that you don't want to. That would just cause you to feel bad. Good luck

2008-01-09 08:56